R. A. N. Productions

F. A. Goodwin

First 3 chapters




IN THAT GREAT!… GETTIN’ UP MORNIN’!… FAIRLY WELL! …FAIRLY WELL!…sing choir!… IN THAT GREAT!… GETTIN’ UP MORNIN’! …praise him! …FAIRLY WELL!…FAIRLY WELL!…low whisper...In that great gettin’ up morning’… fairly well…fairly well…


        “That was an awesome goin’ home service. Mr. Dave would have truly liked that,” Sidney said, as she reached over to hug me. All the while I am thinking to myself this hussy never speaks to me, now what is she up to because I will still beat this bitch down in or outta church. Checking myself, I gave in to the olive branch and returned Sidney’s embrace because if Mr. Dave were still alive he would not be pleased with two young ladies hatin’ on one another instead of helping one another.

   *    *    *    *    *    *    *

        I will never forget the night I walked into First Baptist Church of Our Lord. It was New Year’s Eve 2003 when I entered through those red oversized wooden doors of the church. Mr. Dave was standing right there to greet me, as well as, all the other worshipers as they arrived.  He was a very tall man, with a light caramel complexion, I figured he was well over sixty-five but at the same time, I saw him as a handsome man, and a distinguished gentleman. He had been the gatekeeper… Arm bearer of the church for the past fifteen or so years and everyone who knew him, loved and respected him for his advice, and his words of wisdom.

        Every time he smiled, it reminded me of a fairytale in which Prince Charming gallops onto the scene in order to save the damsel in distress, then smiles and winks at his audience with a twinkle in his eye and sparkle in his mouth, from the tooth that was outlined in gold.

        Regardless of how much I had gone through at Shiloh Christian Church when it came time for me to find a new church home. I think I made a good choice when I chose to join my grandmother’s church. I felt leery about joining another small congregation but those mega churches were not for me. It would take at least five years to get to know every parishioner, and that’s only if they were still around after five years and then there would have been too many different attitudes to deal with. The only advantages to a large congregation are the choices of men to pick through. After you weed out all of the dedicated husbands, the D.L. brothers, the straight up and down faggots and those men whose looks could earn them a permanent home in the local zoo, there would be a good ten to twenty straight men left who truly loved the Lord. Personally, I don’t attend church to mingle, I attend in order to get closer to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and to build on my personal relationship with God. Aside from the promise of eternal life, finding a man just happens to be one of the fringe benefits.

        I would tease Mr. Dave every now and then with, “If I were just a few years older and you were a few years younger you’d be in trouble.”

        His response was always the same, “Yeah, I’d still be old enough to be your father.” We would laugh but I knew in my heart Mr. Dave was a good man, ‘a rare man’ and I would be so lucky if I were blessed with someone half as descent as he was. I am really going to miss the ‘gate keeper.’


        *    *    *    *    *    *    *   


    The bible says do not judge that you may be judged also. One thing Mr. Dave never did was judge neither me nor my past. If he knew anything about it, he certainly never let it be known. That just would not be in his character anyhow, he was the one person who treated me the same since knowing me. As for the rest of these heifers in this church, they can kiss my black ass because I am outta here!


Chapter 2


    Since when did love become a crime, I cannot believe those sidity B’s called themselves silencing some damn body and that fool ass momma’s boy can stay right where the hell he is because I am through with him. Shit, he knew he was married when he approached me to come out to his church’s summer revival.


    *    *    *    *    *    *    *


    It was a little over a year ago during one of the hottest days on record in Philadelphia’s history. I was standing in line waiting to play the lottery, which I rarely do, the only thing that has me out here in this heat is the amount of money in the jackpot, and it’s at two hundred and fifteen million dollars. I can usually afford to throw away five dollars on the lottery every time it accumulates to over one hundred million dollars. While standing there sweating, there aren’t any bullets yet, but I can feel it getting there. My exposed brown skin is at a shiny glisten, and I can feel the heat rising and the bullets forming when out of no where Prince Charming shows up, hands me a napkin from Dunkin Donuts, and says, “You are going to need this.”

    I said, “Excuse me!” as he pointed to the side of my face to let me know apparently while I was standing, mesmerized, in that line, imagining what I would do with my winnings, a waterfall had formed across my forehead and along the side of my face. There was so much sweat that when I wiped my brow with the napkin it broke apart and now I was embarrassed because my Prince was the finest man I had laid my eyes on in a long time. He took notice of my facial dilemma and quickly handed me another napkin that he pulled from his PECO uniform pocket. As a build up of sweat accumulated again, again another napkin was shredded to pieces under the pressure of the moisture.

    I sarcastically said to him, “Thanks a lot.”

    All the while trying to be as sexy and as cunning as possible under the circumstances. Finally, when I got up to the window to purchase my tickets, like a boy scout, ‘always prepared’, the Arab owner of the newspaper/lottery stand had a cooler full of ice-cold waters for sale. I stuck my hand down into the ice to retrieve a bottle of spring water. The water was so cold it instantly cooled my entire body. Mr. Man who apparently had been standing in line behind me, handed me a one-dollar bill, offered to pay for my water but I sweetly, and sensually declined his offer. I told him that I would have to had bought something to quench my thirst whether he caused me to have what looked like crumbled toilet paper stuck to my face or not.

    Then I saw for what would be my first time, but certainly not my last, his smile. He had the most beautiful smile that just accented his perfect face and his perfect body. I have always been a sucker for a perfect smile, a teeth person, a persons teeth and their smile play a very important role in their overall appearance not to mention it dictates their character. I wish every man could realize this. They appeared to be pearly white against the backdrop of his chocolate colored skin. He was tall, but not NBA tall, I’ve never cared for basketball tall anyway. He was maybe six-feet, in good shape, and looked as if he worked out, but he didn’t seem to over do it.

    We formally introduced ourselves. His name was Aidan Peacock and he was buying lottery tickets for the same reasons that I had stood in that hot ass line for over twenty minutes... the two hundred million dollars. Some how  in our brief conversation he slipped in that he was a church going man and that his church was having their summer revival this week. As he handed me a business sized card that had the name and address of the church imprinted on it, in gold lettering, he told me that his father was the head pastor of the church. At first, I was a little thrown off, but I took the card anyway and told him that I would try to get to the Revival one day this week.

    When I returned home later that day I began contemplating about the run-in I had with Prince Charming the utility worker. It’s not as if I am a hedonistic church hater, it’s just that I have never been invited to church on a first date. Actually, I was what the church folk call ‘raised in the church’ until I was old enough to make my own choices regarding my salvation. After talking to my girlfriend Felicia, who never ceases to remind me that I am not getting any younger and that it’s time for me to settle down, she goes on to say ‘what’s better than a man... with a job... who is into the church... and not by default, considering his parents are deeply rooted into the church.’

    I took the business card out of my pink Coach clutch that, Raymond, my last Prince Charming  had given me the day before he accused me of screwing his nineteen-year-old cousin, Reggie, and beat the hell out of me. I thank God that he didn’t do any permanent damage, the shot was good but it wasn’t worth all that. And to think they are both the grandson’s of my grandmother’s boss, municipal Judge Ernest C. Grantz. I wound up losing an agency job because of that incident, they claimed they wanted  to give me some time off for my wounds to heal but the bottom line was they didn’t want any trouble with ‘gang bangers’ on their property. As if blacks are the only people who experience domestic violence. History tells a different side of that story but anyway… The church wasn’t that far away from my home but I would need to catch the bus. My car had broken down and it was going to cost me more than I wanted to spend in order to fix it. Fuck it, I decided to go to the revival, it couldn’t hurt anything and besides this might be just what I was lacking in my life.

    I hadn’t been to church in so long that I can’t remember when the last time was. It may have been a funeral if not maybe something that my grandmother invited me to. Since my adulthood my most recent church experiences were limited to Tyler Perry’s stage plays based on a gun toting grandmamma named Mabel Simmons aka Madea.  Aidan told me that devotion would start at 7:00 pm on the dot. I looked through my closet and debated for over an hour as to what I should wear. The heat had me leaning closely to a tight short mini skirt that I would usually wear if I were going out to party at one of the clubs on Delaware Ave.  I decided against going that route because although it was extremely hot and muggy outside, this is a church service I am planning on strutting into. After careful deduction, I decided to wear a long, sleek, white linen dress with slits that ran the distance of my long legs and stopped at the peak of my thighs. Even though I went with a cover all dress I decided to wear my black thong and bra set that cuz Reg bought me from Victoria Secret. After I took a long cool shower, I dried my body off with one of my fluffy towels that smelled just like April freshness.

    Before slipping into my dress, I oiled my body with baby oil, making sure I got my elbows, knees, and shins really good. My feet were still looking good from the pedicure that May-Ling did on Saturday. I lightly powdered my back and chest area to absorb some of the perspiration that was bound to form due to the warmness outside. I also made sure I sucked up as much air conditioning as I could before I stepped out into the oppressive heat.

    When I arrived at the church, late, as I had planned, the church was a full house, which let me know right away that this church service was bound to be good. The choir had everybody standing up, out of their seats, clapping and singing their praises to God. I selfishly felt insulted that not many people took notice of me stepping into the church. It was understandable under the circumstances, but I still couldn’t help feeling some type of way, because the one thing that was always true was that I always looked good. From what I’ve been told and shown, that would be deliciously good. Out of the one hundred plus partying churchgoers one person did take notice and when our eyes met it was as if we had known each other’s innermost feelings and the depths of one another souls. Not to mention he looked so good I wanted to take him right here! Right now! And from what I saw he looked like he would definitely be something to write home to momma about.  It was weird but the temperature of certain parts of my body began to rise and I didn’t like what was going on, probably because it was going on in a church.  Quickly I regained my composer and began to join in with the rest of the church, I started praising the Lord, singing, and I even threw in a few “Hallelujahs” and “Amen’s.”     

    When the service ended I was so worked up that I wanted some more. And I was so glad that I had came. Anyone with a nose could smell the aroma of chicken throughout the service and a few of the elderly members of the church who noticed that I was obviously not a regular member extended me an invitation to take part in the refreshments that were being served. I politely declined, as I was tired and there was no telling how long I would have to wait for the bus to get home. Aidan had been stuck up at the front of the church smiling, hugging and greeting the parishioners, along with a man who must have been his father given that they could have passed for twins except for the robe and collar on the other man. We made eye contact again and I hand motioned to him  that I was about to leave, when he realized what I was trying to say he started to make his way towards me. It took him at least ten minutes but he finally made it. When he reached where I was standing, right in front of me, he took my hands and shook them gingerly, then he thanked me for coming. He asked if I had come with someone or alone. I told him that I came alone, that I arrived via the bus, and that I needed to be going because it was late. What happened next would set things in motion that would nearly ruin me forever and cause me to become labeled a Jezebel, a whore and a home wrecker.

    “It is too late for someone as pretty as you are to be riding the bus at this time of night. I won’t take no for an answer, I’m in charge of the transportation for the church members and I’ll set up a ride for you to get home,” he almost demanded. He suggested that I go down stairs to the dining area and get something cool to drink, even though I did not want anything to eat. I was flattered and I accepted the offer but for the second time tonight I felt somewhat offended. Why would he set up a ride for me with their van service instead of him personally taking me home? After a little consideration I thought that maybe he already shared a ride with his parents or someone else.  I decided to worry about that later and went to get that drink my mouth had become parched.

    The dining area was pretty big, it could easily seat at least two hundred people. The lines had begun to recede and I was able to go straight to the punch bowl for something to drink. It was tropical fruit punch flavored kool-aid, jazzed up with lemon and orange slices and a couple cans of ginger ale were added for spark. As I sat at a table alone, sipping cautiously on the punch, trying to avoid getting any spills on my dress, I began to notice the floodgates starting to open. Whispers are to be expected when you do not want someone to hear what’s being said, but stares, finger pointing and nods are the most blatant form of gossip known to woman and they made no secret as to who their whispers were directed. Little did these hens know, I live to be seen and I thrive on being noticed. Therefore, when Aidan appeared in the dining hall I kindly stood up and gently ran my hand down the front of my dress and in the same motion I did it to the back, as though I were feeling up myself. I threw my eyes onto Aidan and began to walk over to him, as all eyes were now focused on me, the young and the old, and just when I reached my destination, out of nowhere, the ‘church lady’ appeared. She was an older woman, very stylish and I would consider her to be somewhat classy if she would let go of the uppity air about her. They gray streak of hair in the front of her head didn’t help either. Shit, she looks like Cruella DeVille.

    She began to speak to Aidan, “Honey, what time will you be here tomorrow because there are some things we need to go over?”

    And as if I appeared from nowhere or in her facial opinion a mound of dirt, she looks over at me and asks, “Can I help you?”

    Right at the moment I was about to answer her Aidan steps in with, “Mom this is a visitor who I met at the store today and I invited her to join us in revival,” looking over at me, “I hoped you enjoyed your visit with us?”

    I answered with, “Yes I did, I truly enjoyed myself this evening and your father was awesome!”

    “You’ve met my husband?” said church lady before looking me up and down.

    “No ma’am, Aidan told me that his father was the pastor of the church and that he would bring forth the word all week long.”

    “Oh, I see... well Aidan dear, let’s not keep people waiting,” church lady said as she walked away and over to a larger group of church ladies.

    I told Aidan if he had to handle something for his mother that he should go ahead and I would catch the bus home. Since I was off from work tomorrow, time really didn’t mean a thing. He thoroughly refused to hear of it and asked me if I could spare just fifteen minutes, he would personally take me home. I decided to go upstairs, stand outside, and wait. Luckily the heat had finally began to let up.

    I noticed my Prince again as he was loading a huge church van with mostly elderly women, who were likely widows, and a couple of women with their children. Aidan explained to me that since every stop was pre-mapped out he had to drop me off last because he didn’t want to throw off his order. As we drove through the dark streets of Philadelphia I wondered if he realized that he practically rode pass my apartment building. Hell, maybe he did realize it but since I neglected to say any thing why would he. When the last person was dropped off it was a little after mid-night and since it would look foolish with me sitting in the back of this big van all alone I decided to move to the front passenger seat, without any rejections from the driver. We talked more about the services and he asked if I planned to come back the rest of the week. I had been thinking about that all evening and he sweetened the deal when he offered to pick me up and drop me off with the van service. When we finally arrived at my apartment, me being the person that I am and with nowhere to be in the morning, invited him to come in. He graciously declined because he needed to get the van back to the church, so that it could be locked in the parking lot.

    The next evening the van pulled up outside my apartment building at a quarter to seven and through the bathroom door I heard the beep of my intercom so I hurried and checked myself in the full mirror once more. Due to another day of overwhelming heat I gave in and wore some of my skimpier attire, which would usually be seen as slutty  in a church setting,  but the intensity of the heat and humidity outside made me the envy of those who did not, nor would not look as good as I do in my clothes. I flew out the door with hopes of seeing Mr. Charming but to my surprise there stood an elderly man in the middle of the street with a footstool  positioned on the ground in front of the opened sliding door of the van, there to help me step up and into my seat. The thought crossed my mind to ask pops where was brother Aidan but I thought better of it, in view of the fact that there were women seated in the van already and I did not want to get the gossip mills churning.

    As expected the service was so thrilling and uplifting that I nearly shouted all over the sanctuary. I was on my feet praising the Lord almost all night and ironically tonight’s sermon had been about the weakness of the flesh and being faithful to God first and all else would follow.    

    He stepped so hard on my toes that before I knew what hit me I was on my feet saying, “Thank you Jesus!…Hallelujah!…Preach!…Pastor!…Preach!” I doubt if anyone truly knew that the fire I was trying to put out was between my legs.

    From the time I had Aidan in my view, it was as if I had fire shut up in my bones and it would not leave me alone. We must have both felt the same thing because we constantly peered at one another throughout the service. In a way that said, ‘if, and when the time came, we were going to fuck, and get fucked, as hard and continuously as possible.’

    I could tell that he had good taste in clothes because the cream two-piece linen suit that he was wearing draped him as if it were custom made specifically for his body and my eyes only.

    I was able to secure a seat closer to the front of the church tonight so when Aidan started to make his way towards me he wouldn’t have far to go. He briefly shook my hand while informing me that my ride was parked around the corner on the side of the church. Well I figured he must be satisfied with himself by getting souls out to the church, because his greeting was very cool and precisely to the point. So, before I let what happened affect my religion, I slung my purse under my arm and commenced to strut out of the church without so much as a grimace on my face to indicate how much the straps that lay across my toes actually felt like a garrote tightening and my toes would soon be amputated under the pressure.

    A light drizzle had started to fall from the night sky and it was a relief to my warm skin. It felt so good that I didn’t even try to shield my body from the rain. As I turned the corner I realized that the van had been parked right in front of the church, so when I turned back around attempting to not miss my ride. BOOM! I ran right into Aidan. Damn, he smells just as good as he looks.

    “Right over here, the black Navigator,” he said.

    I came back with, “What about the van, Brother Scott will be looking for me?”

    “I already talked to him, I told him since you were a little further than the rest of his passengers I would save him a trip. Unless you want to squeeze in with the entire Mother Board of the church.”

    He should not have let his guard down with me because, here I go, “ha…ha…that was very cute, but I doubt if Brother Scott and his Rockerettes are willing to take me out for dinner this late, it’s past their bed time.”

    “Uhm…it’s past my bed time too. So now what?” he said in his deep sexy voice.

    “First of all, can we get out of the rain and into your big black Chariot?” The heat began to rise inside me all over again. It felt as if a heated cherry that was about to burst was growing between my legs and I thought, thank God for Playtex panty liners that are made especially for thongs because, the hot juices flowed out of me as if this was a normal everyday occurrence. I am going to fuck this man. Tonight!

    He pulled off, and as we rode along Broad Street in the dampened night air, we listened to jazz music that was flowing so smoothly from his Bose’ speakers. For the first ten minutes we conversated about what we should eat. I recommended something light since it was so late. If nobody else watched my weight, I certainly did. So, we decided on seafood, shrimps and crab legs from Bottom of the Sea. During the rest of the ride we discussed everything from church... to politics... to finally what I wanted to do to him when we got back to my place. Since losing my virginity I have never been shy to tell a man what I wanted or expected from him in the bedroom …living room …shower …kitchen …hell, the stairway in my building. His dick stood at full attention from the time we picked up the food until we arrived at my apartment and I guided him inside, with penis in hand.


  Chapter 3


    When it comes to sex I allow my body to do all the talking. Once we sat the food down I bent over right where I was and in my stilettos my legs had about five extra inches added. Which made us eye to eye, so to speak. He slowly entered me from behind. Thinking about it now still makes my temperature rise. Either he knew exactly what to do or he was wading the waters, patiently awaiting my guidance. Perfection is not too strong of a word to describe this man, my pussy fit his dick like a glove and he commenced to lubricating his dick slowly…smoothly, back and forth… in and out… as if my vagina was the mouth of a school girl licking on a juicy popsicle, making sure that every inch of his manhood was licked and sucked via vaginal juices. Suddenly, I turned around, I had to kiss him, I wanted to feel his face in my hands as I slobbed him down.

    It was as good for him as it was for me but neither of us gave in to our impending orgasms. I graciously laid him down on my extra-large sofa and began to lick him up and down, stopping at his nipples and slowly licking and tugging at them while he squealed and moaned. My next stop was between his big chocolate thighs where he anxiously anticipated fellatio, but part of my game was to make him wonder if I intended on doing the deed, instead of expecting the inevitable.

    My mouth was destined to dry out so I eased back up to his face and we kissed so soft and sensuously that I hated to stop but before I rose all the way up I slowly rubbed my juices from his belly up to his warm mouth and although I hadn’t gone to town on dark chocolate, he eagerly, yet gently, jammed his tongue up into me. Lord have mercy…I raised up and switched my sweet ass into the kitchen. When I returned I had a bottle of cold spring water and as I stood over my new man drinking from the bottle I allowed some of that water to drip out and onto Aidan’s gorgeous body. Since I was about to give him what he wanted he removed all of his clothes while I was in the kitchen.

    One of my biggest pet peeves is to take one’s own clothing off. I wish he would have waited. I think when the mood is right all undressing should be done in the heat of passion and this move of his has somewhat killed the moment for me, but not entirely because it has been a long time since any man has made me feel this way. Now that my mouth was moisturized, I commenced to licking and sucking on his fudge pop. And one thing for sure, two things for certain, if there were ever to be a contest for sucking dick, I’m your winner. He came so hard that he could have won an Oscar for portraying a man suffering a heart attack. Once all of his little soldiers shot out, he sat straight up and began to take over the role of Master and Commander. He started by rubbing and caressing my breast. Gently fondling my clitoris while nibbling on my ears. I whispered to him that we should take this into my bedroom.

    My work as a registered nurse has afforded me to have a comfortable life since I was single and had no children. I noticed the look on Aidan’s face when we entered my bedroom and he laid eyes on my beautifully arranged room. The focus point was my king sized bed with all the coordinating tossed pillows and linens on top. Even my drapes that hung above the ten foot high cornered windows, which offered a view of the Ben Franklin Bridge and the downtown area of Philadelphia, matched. We at long last made love all night long as if were experienced virgins who could not get enough of each other’s body.


    *    *    *    *    *    *    *


    When I could no longer tolerate the heat of the sun beaming down on me through the top of the exposed portion of my window I rolled over to find that I was alone and my room had a distinct odor of fish. Sometime during last nights workout we decided to eat our seafood platters and now my room smelled like The Crab Shack. Thank God for central air because when I opened my bedroom windows after stripping my sheets off the bed and tossing them into the washer that was tucked away behind my sliding door hall closet, the heat engulfed my room causing me to close the windows again. I decided it would be simpler for me to just burn some candles throughout my apartment and spray my mattress with Febreeze. I love the smell of peach candles, so I filled my holders with some fresh candles that I purchased from the Pier 1 on City Ave.

    I was so consumed with getting that smell out of my room that I nearly forgot to wonder what happened to Aidan. I had no idea that he left, it must have been between six and seven this morning since I didn’t collapse in my excitement until five thirty. I clearly remember because we both acknowledged the time, since my orgasm lasted almost five minutes. As the thoughts of last night began to slowly come to fruition in my mind, my kitty kat began to heat up again. Damn, he must have had to go to work. Since I had a few more days left of vacation I decided to put in my Mis~Education of Lauren Hill CD on full blast and give my apartment a thorough cleaning. First, I turned the air up higher and started my task in the kitchen. Thank goodness for the onboard attachments on my carpet shampooer. In my living room, I thoroughly cleaned my couch and the area rug that lays just below it. There’s no telling what might start growing after last night. It was about one in the afternoon when I finished my mid-summer spring-cleaning. Luckily, I live alone and it didn’t take as much time as most people who have children or roommates for that matter. I saved my bed for last in order to give it as much time as possible to air out. In the long run I didn’t bother to make it, I decided to sleep in my spare bedroom so that I could give my mattress at least twenty-four hours to recover. Where is my man?

    I laid out my clothes for church and called Brother Scott to line up a ride since Aidan and I still hadn’t exchanged phone numbers. How in the world did I have the best sexual experience of my life, without exchanging phone numbers, is beyond me. Anyway, I still did not feel comfortable putting church members in our business. I thought better of it so, I didn’t ask the church secretary for Brother Aidan’s number, I asked her to put me on Brother Scott’s pick up list instead. Right on schedule Brother Scott beeped the vans horn at six forty-five. We ran into some heavy traffic, so by the time we arrived at the church, services were underway. We hadn’t missed that much, most importantly we arrived just before the offering.

    The service this evening was on fire again and during altar call I decided to walk up to the front of the church and take a seat in one of the three chairs that were aligned in front of the pulpit. Tears had been streaming down my face since the Pastor solemnly said as the organist played in the background.

     “Do you know him?…get to know him…when your best friend turns against you…he is the Alpha and the Omega…come to Jesus…if your heart is heavy…take it to him…he’ll be your friend in the midnight hour…”

    As I walked what seemed like the longest mile all I could think about was the conversation or should I say argument that I had with my ex-best friend, Felicia. That miserable bitch had the audacity to sound off at me when I told her the details of last nights tryst with Aidan.


    *    *    *    *    *    *    *


    “Look, I wouldn’t say this if I weren’t your friend. You don’t even have this man’s phone number to call him. For all you know he could have been a serial killer or even worse.”

    I have to admit I felt really stupid when I lied and told her that we had used condoms, when in actuality she caught me with my guard down. The way I shared detail for detail and blow for blow, there had been no place in last night’s exhibition for condoms. She ranted and raved about AIDS and pregnancy. She even called me dumb and stupid and told me that I must like getting hurt. I shot right back at her that she was a jealous and bitter bitch with no excitement in her life. And she hated that I always wound up with the best prospects for a husband because she was stuck at home, in her miserable marriage, to that boring ass Jonesy.


    *    *    *    *    *    *    *


    Aidan’s mother was standing in place of the missing church secretary tonight. I doubt if this was the first lady’s regular position in the church. While she wrote down my information and instructed me on the process of the Right Hand in Fellowship, new members’ classes, and the importance of tithing, Mrs. Bitch had the audacity to look me up and down when I told her I was single, childless and an emergency room R.N.

    I sat in the seat of the office graciously, being nothing less than courteous to my future mother in-law. I got vibes from Mrs. Peacock that she did not like me. From my end I have never been an ass kisser and I was not planning to start today. Aidan would have to knock my boots on a regular consistent basis in order for me to suck up to Cruella DeVille. Had she been a normal humble woman, I would have had the nerve to ask where my Prince Charming was, I hadn’t seen him all evening.

    There had been five of us who went up to the altar to surrender our souls to God and become members of the church. Two of whom were children with there mother. We were ushered out of the office as the mass of congregation filed away from the altar, heading back to there seats. Once every one was seated again Sis. Peacock read off the list of names, she began with Ms. Nakia Sanders, who was coming back to restore her membership in the church and she had her two girls with her, ten year old Tasia and six-year-old Asia Sanders who wanted to be baptized. All were to receive the Right Hand in Fellowship on the first Sunday of the following month. Next there was an elderly man who from the smell of things came in to get out of the heat. Lord forgive me…I’ll leave that alone but- I haven’t seen him since. She saved me for last, ‘til this day I still wonder if that was some sort of play on my psyche’.

    Anyhow she starts with, “Last we have a Ms. Jada Lindsay who is looking to restore her faith in God. She is a registered nurse, who was baptized as a young girl and has not been a standing member of any church for over ten years.” Bitch! Telling all my fucking business.

    As the Pastor, her husband, held a death grip on my hand she continued with, “She seeks to become an asset to the choir as she was the lead soloist when she attended her previous church.”

    All I could do was smile. Now it was his turn, what he had to say was nothing compared to what was soon to come.

    “Sister Lindsay, God is smiling down on you right now… He is pleased with you more than you’ll ever conceive… I want you to walk with him... talk with him... and pray to him… because he’ll never leave your side… God bless you… and heaven smile upon you… you may take your seat now.”

    Then the blow came that almost knocked me out of my seat.

    Pastor looked over to Cruella and kindly said, “Thank you Sister Peacock, you’ve done an excellent job this evening. We may need you to fill in just a little while longer.”

    With a quizzical eye she looked over at her husband as he continued, “Since the other Mrs. Peacock just gave birth to our first grand baby.”

    As the ‘Praise the Lords’ and ‘Hallelujahs’ began to ring throughout the church I began wondering why the elder Mr. & Mrs. Peacock were not at the hospital with their daughter instead of Aidan.

    The next tidbit of information told it all when Pastor Peacock, let it be known that, “Church… our son Aidan and his wife Melissa just had little Aidan Jr. and my wife and I are heading over to the hospital, post-haste.”

    “So if it’s alright with you I would like to dismiss early so that we can get over to the hospital.”

    I had no idea that a person’s body could do what mine had begun to do without any physical provocation. It took every fiber in my body to hold back the tears that were inevitably coming. It was my heart and my stomach that truly gave me the most concern. The flutter of butterflies was not just a myth to me any more... they were real.



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  • "Hello Ms. Goodwin, My name is Janee and I purchased your book after the Jill Scott concert here in philly. You probably don't remember me, but I am the one who said that I was..."
    Janee Ford
    You Reap What You Sow
  • "Hello Ms. Goodwin, My name is Janee and I purchased your book after the Jill Scott concert here in philly. You probably don't remember me, but I am the one who said that I was..."
    Janee Ford
    You Reap What You Sow